That New Employee Smell

This never happens - ever.

I could here them coming from 4 cubes down.  It was another manager pulling his "new hire" around the office for the ritualistic "meet and greet".  I hate it.  Here's the scenario; the manager walks around, coffee mug in hand, and introduces their fresh meat to everyone else.  It's tense.  The manager struggles to remember everyone's name while the current employees just sit there trying to size the new guy up.



It happened to me today.

As they approached the cube next door, I could hear the dread in the manager's voice.  He just wanted to get through this.  He couldn't remember names and probably wasn't sure his new recruit was a "keeper".  The new employee sounded like a babe in the woods, all nervous and friendly.  Soon, they finished next door and I was about to have my turn.

Truth be told, the manager's beer gut was first to enter "my space".  Where's the gym buddy?  Goodness what a clown.  No formalities here, he jumped right in "Hi this is -----  (already forgot the name) and he will be working in -------(I don't care)".  He then motioned to me awkwardly.  It was obvious he had forgotten my name, my position who I was not sure. not sure - but I was not going to help him.  Pointing to me he said "This is...um... ahhh...he works here with the ...and he can help you with..".  Nope,silence.  Nothing from me you clown.

Perhaps I should have helped.  It's important however to show no weakness in front of the fresh catch.  You don't know who they really are on their first day.  They seem timid at first, but that's only because they don't know where the bathrooms are.  Heck they don't even know if we have bathrooms.

By their 2nd week they're comfortable enough to start yelling at you.  By their 1st year they're sporting a beer gut, walking around with a coffee mug introducing somebody ......

Throw me a note when you get a chance.  My job gives me plenty of material for "The Corporate Clown".  I bet yours does too.  sommbeer@gmail.com

If you need some liquid therapy from Corporate Clowns try some beer!  I'm a Beer Sommelier.

http://sommbeer.com/