Decisions Decisions
We had a major decision to make last week. This decision was so vitally important that the wrong move could destroy us. Specifically, we had to decide if we should raise or lower our prices. The wrong decision could propel us into prosperity or sink us into bankruptcy.
We never made the decision.
Instead we played the Corporate Hot Potato game.
I proposed that we should raise our prices. So top brass decided that we should have a meeting. I groaned openly as I knew where this was headed. We invited finance, sales, purchasing, materials, marketing and the janitor. We then sat around the table and discussed the merits of raising or lowering prices. Theories were discussed and everyone babbled non-sense.
In the Corporate Clown world of rules, managers only want to claim responsibility for good decisions. This requires a lot of revisionist history as senior management doesn't statistically make too many good decisions. They therefore have to claim someone else's decision as their own - after the fact. They've claimed a lot of mine.
That new product gizmo that we launched last year? They made that. That new marketing blitz? They did that. Clowns.
Marketing and sales didn't want to raise prices so they basically filibustered. Babbling more non-sense until the meeting was almost over they knew no decision would be made.I could feel my blood pressure rising and my face turning red. No one wanted to be marked with a bad decision. I had to do something! Suddenly, I could hear myself blurting something out, my heart racing "we need to Lower our prices". They all looked at me with eyes as wide as little orphan Annie. I turned the argument 180 degrees and they were confused. I removed myself as a target. I was no longer pushing higher prices and I purposely flip flopped. They didn't know what to do.
They decided to form a committee. If we weren't on the first floor I would have jumped from the window.
Lunch arrived. Thankfully it was a buffet. If they had to decide what to order they would have starved.
Throw me a note when you get a chance. My job gives me plenty of material for "The Corporate Clown". I bet yours does too. sommbeer@gmail.com
If you need some liquid therapy from Corporate Clowns try some beer! I'm a Beer Sommelier.
http://sommbeer.com/
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